Girls Gone Wild: Bush twins engage in same-sex action:

According to Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove, the Bush Twins are going to be attending a Big Gay Wedding. Specifically the wedding of their beautician, Erwin Gomez and his longtime partner, James Packard. Jenna and Barbara have become obsessed with Gomez's eyebrow waxes of late and are very enthusiastic about attending the soiree. And if you've seen the Bush twins' eyebrows, you can only hope they are bringing a very big gift with them. Those furry bushes (pun intended) must require plenty of elbow grease.

The 39-year-old Gomez is a makeup expert for the Elizabeth Arden shop in the D.C. suburb of Chevy Chase, MD. According to Gomez, Bush's daughters have expressed "an enthusiastic desire" to go to Gomez and Packard's Sept. 11 wedding celebration at their home in Laytonsville, MD. September 11th?!?! Who in God's name is their wedding planner?

I guess it goes to show that not every member of this evil dynasty is so narrow-minded or politically obsessed as to actively campaign to discriminate against groups such as gays. Who knows, though? Perhaps they forgot to wait and RSVP at a time when they were uncharacteristically sober. I suppose it's awkward, though, to try and squeeze a week's worth of correspondences into the brief sobriety between 6:00 to 6:023 A.M. on a Tuesday morning.

So while their father is paying respect to/exploiting for political purposes the dead who lost their lives on the saddest day in American history 4 years ago, the twins are going to be doing the Electric Slide with their gay hairdresser. Maybe they won't make it afterall.

And this is supposed to be a Swing State...

A Kerry Rally in Portland, Oregon that reportedly drew over 40,000 people. It's enough to make a liberal weep.  

Perhaps I can find him a position as the Minister of Sodomy and Firearms...

I was in Kansas this past weekend just as the whole McGreevey-is-a-big-flamer story broke. It's an odd place to learn about a political coming out story in that no one talks about it. And if that were all this story was about, then perhaps the silence would be expected in a state like Kansas (where man evolved from God's instant imagination rather than apes and the Almighty's wrath against abortionists and the ACLU caused 9/11). But the story is not just about a man coming to terms with his sexuality, it is about what a shmuck he was.

As everyone's aware by now, soon-to-be-ex-governor of my homestate of New Jersey, James McGreevey, held a press conference last Thursday to announce his resignation and his homosexuality. He described his coming to grips with his sexual orientation with uncommon grace and dignity, offering an extraordinary glimpse into the private torment that can accompany a public life lived in the closet. "My truth is that I am a gay American,'' he said. With those words thousands of little gayboys all across Jersey cheered in their respective closets. If that had been the beginning and the end of the story, we would be celebrating Mr. McGreevey for his honesty, not discussing his resignation. But the story was incomplete.

The governor's announcement was reportedly driven by the threat of a sexual harassment lawsuit by a former aide, Golan Cipel. McGreevey did not say that the man in question had worked for his administration. Instantly, that fact raises many troubling questions of ethics. For eight months Mr. Cipel worked for Mr. McGreevey, first as a liaison for homeland security and then as a special counsel. His qualifications for these positions? He is an Israeli poet. Giving your lover an important government position because he's good in bed is reckless and disrespectful to the citizens who voted for you, thinking you had their best interests at heart. McGreevey should do what I do - invent a position for your lover with absolutely no power or authority or consequence. Why, just last night I gave my boyfriend the very prestigious promotion from Cuddling Czar to Director of the Apartment Snuggling Authority. He doesn't know it, but it's just a token position. Comes with plenty of benefits though.

I feel for McGreevey in some ways. The coming out process is difficult and often painful and scary. To do so on so public a stage can only make it worse. But giving your boyfriend (who at this time is denying a relationship and suing for sexual harassment) a job to help protect the homeland is terrible. The only thing he was protecting was maybe the foot of the bed. I'm all for port security, but I think Mr McGreevey may have had a different definition of "docking" when he hired Cipel.

I wish that this announcement had given us the opportunity to cheer McGreevey's decision to come-out. I disagree with the governor’s statement that “in this, the 47th year of my life, it is arguably too late to have this conversation.” I believe that it is never too late to speak your own truth. But it is too-late for McGreevey to champion gay rights from the governor's office. It's too late to take back his statements he made against gay marriage. It's too late to keep New Jersey from focusing on a sex scandal in its capitol rather than real issues that will truly affect citizens.