Girls Gone Wild: Bush twins engage in same-sex action:

According to Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove, the Bush Twins are going to be attending a Big Gay Wedding. Specifically the wedding of their beautician, Erwin Gomez and his longtime partner, James Packard. Jenna and Barbara have become obsessed with Gomez's eyebrow waxes of late and are very enthusiastic about attending the soiree. And if you've seen the Bush twins' eyebrows, you can only hope they are bringing a very big gift with them. Those furry bushes (pun intended) must require plenty of elbow grease.

The 39-year-old Gomez is a makeup expert for the Elizabeth Arden shop in the D.C. suburb of Chevy Chase, MD. According to Gomez, Bush's daughters have expressed "an enthusiastic desire" to go to Gomez and Packard's Sept. 11 wedding celebration at their home in Laytonsville, MD. September 11th?!?! Who in God's name is their wedding planner?

I guess it goes to show that not every member of this evil dynasty is so narrow-minded or politically obsessed as to actively campaign to discriminate against groups such as gays. Who knows, though? Perhaps they forgot to wait and RSVP at a time when they were uncharacteristically sober. I suppose it's awkward, though, to try and squeeze a week's worth of correspondences into the brief sobriety between 6:00 to 6:023 A.M. on a Tuesday morning.

So while their father is paying respect to/exploiting for political purposes the dead who lost their lives on the saddest day in American history 4 years ago, the twins are going to be doing the Electric Slide with their gay hairdresser. Maybe they won't make it afterall.