Smoke 'em if you got 'em...

One of the things that bothers me so much about having to ride the PATH as my main source of transport to and from home each day is the lack of decent subway sex. No, not physical intercourse on a subway; that's something that happens only in pornographic films and European cities. Subway sex is the game one plays with total strangers when they devour each other with their eyes while riding a subway car together. It's a cheap thrill I've come to perfect, and yet the bridge and tunnel crowd offer up no one to play with whatsoever.

It usually begins when you spot someone attractive from across the subway car. You look them up and down, then subtly wait for their gaze to catch your eye. You hold the eye contact just long enough for your partner to realize it wasn't an accident... and you look away! Perhaps you focus on an uninteresting liquor advertisement or a kid selling Peanut M&M's to raise money to buy "new basketball jerseys." You're playing hard to get. You slowly begin to turn your attentions back to your prey. Can you feel them watching you yet? You quickly look them right in the eye! They've been caught staring! They divert their attention just as you did earlier. You repeat this game of cat-and-mouse for a few minutes. Then comes the half-smile.

You let them catch you with your eyes on them, but rather than turn away you put a sly smile on your face as if to say "You know I'm looking at you and I know you know I'm looking at you. What are you going to do about it?"

What they'll do is turn away. You continue your gaze and if they look back, if they meet your eyes this one last time... you win! For a brief encounter the social contract is revised and the rest of the train ride you have an unspoken agreement to stare. They have been conquered and they remain yours to gawk at till you come to your stop and you retreat into the city's safety of anonymity.

Subway sex is probably the only time I can be a top. I can be the aggressor it seems, when there are no words (or fluids!) to exchange. I will often pick out unsuspecting boys and force them to play my game. More often than not, you get someone who doesn't play along, but when someone does, the feeling of accomplishment overwhelming. The PATH train has no one I would even consider wasting my time on - all unappealing investment bankers and fat guys. It's enough to make one miss the L train.