Oy, Vey! It's only mid-June...

Everything in the city is moist today. And not in a Dunken-Heinz yummy cake-like way. No not at all. It's a terrible sticky feeling in the air. The dreaded humidity.

Days like this make me long to be an elderly Jewish lady named Mabel living off my husband's pension and escaping to the milder climate of the Florida coastline every Summer. "Ah, to be young again," I would be heard muttering to myself as I down another whiskey sour before going to see Carol Burnett play Lady Macbeth at the local dinner theater.

But no, instead I am forced to live in the sweltering New York City jungle. As much as my poor pale skin recoils at the very hint of direct sunlight, it is no the terible cancer ball in the sky that gives me the most pause during the summer months. It's the backsweat. I can sweat buckets from every pore of my pettite body, but the sweaty back everyone gets from the mugginess is the bane of my existance. Every morning I crawl off the streets into the office and park in front of air conditioner to alleviate my suffering. And there's only 3 more months of this.

Or maybe I'm just part werewolf...

Germans have the uncanny ability to express concepts and ideas that the English language sorely lacks. We all have our favorites. Schadenfreude, glee at another's misfortune, is popular. The urge to go for long walks or to travel can easily be summed up with Wanderlust. Fahrvergnügen is simply the pleasure of driving, though not a very pretty word. I could go on. Yesterday I found another word that summed up so much of what I think a lot of us feel these days.

Weltschmerz.

Weltschmerz is the depression and pain caused when you compare what the world is to what you think the world should be. The ideal versus the actual. The possible versus the reality. It's such a profound, yet simple thought. A romantic pessimism, if such a thing exists.

I suspect it's the reason wolves howl at the moon. They are wolves and can not change it, but oh if they could! Perhaps a monkey or a fish would suit them best, but alas it is not to be. Instead they let out a bloodcurdling moan. I can relate.

A few years ago, I went to London with my best friend to visit friends who were studying abroad. We slept on the most uncomfortable cushions on their living room floor but after spending days traveling and touristing about, one could hardly notice. I remember one night I had a strangely vivid dream whose premise could easily be likened to a Bronte novel. Something to do with the loss of love and the crushing defeat of reality. It was hazy at best, but there was a dark damp castle and some sort of trumpet involved. The trumpet's call was supposed to release all the pain and angst and sadness forced into whoever blew the horn by the world. It makes no sense but it was a dream. So Dreaming Matt snuck up into the tower and pulled back the tapestry (all old castles have magical artifacts behind their old tapestries), and blew the horn. At the same time Real Life Matt exploded in some eerie unconscious moan that woke up everyone in the house. Luckily my best friend leapt on me and forced me awake and calmed me down. I laid awake the rest of the night shaking from the fright. I didn't have a name for the feeling my unconscious mind forced out of me that night. I now know it was weltschmerz. Thank you, Germany. Gesundheit.

Drowning in blood, but only metaphorically for once...

Despite the onslaught of the republican convention, New York City is about to enter a bloodless summer. That is to say that we are approaching a dangerous blood shortage in the city, the worst ever in fact. The shortage is expected to be so bad that there may be a cancellation of elective surgeries, such as knee surgery. If you've ever known anyone who has needed knee surgery it's hard to imagine why it's considered elective, but there you have it. Emergency rooms may also have close due to this blood drought, and since too many people use the emergency room as their primary health care, closings would be catastrophic. So I suggest everyone give blood at some point soon.

Oh Matt, you may ask, I do not know if I am eligible to give blood! Well you've come to the right place! Here are a few sample questions they will ask you. Let's see if I, as a young healthy man, can give blood, shall we.

-Do you weigh over 110 pounds? Well not to flatter myself, but I do weigh slightly more than 110.

-Are you feeling well today? The sun is shining and I'm about to get a free Twinkie! I'm feeling great, thanks for asking.

-Have you been pregnant in the last weeks? No comment.

-In the past 12 months, have you had sexual contact with someone who has tested positive for HIV/AIDS? No, I have not.

-In the past 12 months, have you had a tattoo or body piercing? Well one night I got really drunk and had a tat put on my.. well let me just show you, I just need to bend... oh, wait no, that was more than 12 months. Sorry, no.

-Male Donors: From 1977 to the present have you had sexual contact with another male, even once? Yes, but I've always been safe.

And that's about the point they would throw me out. Well actually, they are usually very nice people, but they would inform me that I can not give blood under any circumstance because I am gay. In today's day and age, it is dumbfounding to think that sexual orientation is used to determine such things. I can have sex with someone over year ago who is HIV-positive and still give blood, but if I have had sex in 1977 with a man, positive or not, I can not give because the FDA considers my lifestyle to be high-risk. I feel the higher risk is screening out about a fifth of the population. They claim science supports this policy but there are plenty of unfair assumptions used in this "scientific" conclusion. The ban on gay blood donors is based on the assumption that all homosexual and bisexual men are high risk for HIV and the policy seems to reflect homophobic prejudices, not medical facts. The quality and timeliness of HIV and AIDS evaluations has improved dramatically, producing results within days or even minutes. Since most blood transfusions require weeks of preparation there is ample time to re-test as a precaution.  The policy also virtually ignores the health risk posed by heterosexual donors who've been exposed to HIV or AIDS. The gay community is historically socially conscious anactiveve within their communities-exactly the sort of population helpful in obtaining blood donors. If this anachronistic discrimination is dropped, it could only improve thdisasterousus blood supply.