I'd laugh if it didn't make me want to cry so much...

Does the President even realize when he's lying anymore? Does he have any filter at all? Does he ever stop to think that the things he says can be checked and verified? Do his handlers ever say before talking in public, "And Mr. President, could you try to stick to the truth today? At least about things as concrete as facts?" If not he should really invest in some.

George Bush said in a press conference the other day in the Rose Garden "I think I met with [Ahmed Chalabi] at the State of the Union and just kind of working through the rope line, and he might have come with a group of leaders. But I haven't had any extensive conversations with him."

Are you kidding me? Does he honestly think we are going to swallow this? He told Tim Russert on Meet the Press in February "right here in the Oval Office I sat down with Mr. Pachachi and Chalabi and al-Hakim, people from different parts of the country that have made the firm commitment, that they want a constitution eventually written that recognizes minority rights and freedom of religion."

The First Lady was sitting directly in front of Chalabi at the State of the Union this past year. I haven't had any extensive conversations with the President, so can I get that seat next time?

It seems to me the President says these things and makes a complete fool of himself when ever he talks with anyone who isn't a blind supporter. If people aren't giving him a standing ovation every few minutes, he chokes. He thrives on attention and the acceptance of his "charm." If you stoically listen to him or ask questions of the things he says, he can't deal. He needs people to not question, he needs people to clap and cheer and tell him what a great person he is. He must have very low self-esteem. This presidency is the grandest experiment in vanity the world has seen since perhaps Napoleon. He has a fragile inflated ego in constant need of re-enforcement. Here's hoping his new independent lawyers he's talking to regarding his role in the Valerie Plame leak will give him better advice than "just keep talking, everyone loves you" because most people do not. It's the truth. You should try it sometime.

Perhaps I'm not enough of a modern woman to appreciate it...

A fraud is being perpetrated upon all good carbonated-beverage-drinking Americans. Perhaps you have seen the commercials for Coca-Cola's new Smooth Serve bottles- a shapely, smaller, supposedly easier to pour container. The advertisement I've seen shows a mom at home who is talking on the phone to her client. You don't get a good sense of what the service this mom provides her client, but it seems to require a laptop and a lot a important paper documents, so it must be vitally important. In addition, her child is in desperate need of some major mommy-holding. But this modern woman can do all of this, and now, thanks to the miracle of Coke's vision, she can also pour herself a refreshing glass of cola using only one hand.

Sounds good doesn't it? This smaller bottle is 1.5 Liters and when I first saw it on the shelf it was on sale for only $0.89 per bottle. "That's an even better value than a 2 Liter bottle," I cunningly deduced using only my wits and my cell phone's calculator. This just keeps getting better and better, right?

Wrong! Two weeks later, the 2-Liter bottles are gone for good from my local supermarket, word is they aren't coming back ever, and the sale price that made them so attractive has transformed into $1.19. That's the same price as the 2-Liter bottle! I've never complained about the size or shape. I"m not a workaholic mother. I have no need to be pouring cola while conducting business meetings and playing with babies. This is the only way they could raise the price of coke while still coming across as offering something new. Well I'm not fooled! You may be thinking I should get used to drinking less soda. Diet Coke, or D.C. for those in the know, is not a frivolous luxury for our house. It is a staple. More so than milk and bread. My apartment will never be out of soda or coffee. It may be put into my wedding vows one day. It's that important. This seems to be only happening in New York City for now, but there are plans afoot to spread it to all 50 states soon. So if this bait and switch game hasn't come to your soda aisle yet, just wait. It'll happen. And in the meantime enjoy your unpourable 2-Liter bottles. And for gosh sakes, put the baby down before you spill something.