Perhaps I'm not enough of a modern woman to appreciate it...

A fraud is being perpetrated upon all good carbonated-beverage-drinking Americans. Perhaps you have seen the commercials for Coca-Cola's new Smooth Serve bottles- a shapely, smaller, supposedly easier to pour container. The advertisement I've seen shows a mom at home who is talking on the phone to her client. You don't get a good sense of what the service this mom provides her client, but it seems to require a laptop and a lot a important paper documents, so it must be vitally important. In addition, her child is in desperate need of some major mommy-holding. But this modern woman can do all of this, and now, thanks to the miracle of Coke's vision, she can also pour herself a refreshing glass of cola using only one hand.

Sounds good doesn't it? This smaller bottle is 1.5 Liters and when I first saw it on the shelf it was on sale for only $0.89 per bottle. "That's an even better value than a 2 Liter bottle," I cunningly deduced using only my wits and my cell phone's calculator. This just keeps getting better and better, right?

Wrong! Two weeks later, the 2-Liter bottles are gone for good from my local supermarket, word is they aren't coming back ever, and the sale price that made them so attractive has transformed into $1.19. That's the same price as the 2-Liter bottle! I've never complained about the size or shape. I"m not a workaholic mother. I have no need to be pouring cola while conducting business meetings and playing with babies. This is the only way they could raise the price of coke while still coming across as offering something new. Well I'm not fooled! You may be thinking I should get used to drinking less soda. Diet Coke, or D.C. for those in the know, is not a frivolous luxury for our house. It is a staple. More so than milk and bread. My apartment will never be out of soda or coffee. It may be put into my wedding vows one day. It's that important. This seems to be only happening in New York City for now, but there are plans afoot to spread it to all 50 states soon. So if this bait and switch game hasn't come to your soda aisle yet, just wait. It'll happen. And in the meantime enjoy your unpourable 2-Liter bottles. And for gosh sakes, put the baby down before you spill something.