When Seanie met Fanny...

I spoke with my little brother, Seanie, recently and tried elicit information about the state of his still-newish romantic relationship. He is seeing a girl named Fanny, and while I only briefly saw her in the dark as I was falling asleep on a couch late one evening, I have never met her. The faint glimpse I did see seemed very pretty and if she can put up with Seanie-boy, she must be an amazing woman. But he is cagey on details. Always has been. So I made up a story about them. The story of how they met. The following is copied from the transcript of our AIM conversation:

Seanie was walking along, not minding street lights as usual, and was struck by Fanny's speeding Mini-Cooper. Like a modern day Nancy Drew, Fanny only drives a powder-blue Mini. That's just the way she is. Seanie was laying on the ground like a wounded animal and Fanny rushed to his side. "I'm so sorry, mister," she said as she called for an ambulance.

Feeling terrible, Fanny wanted to make it up to him so she came to visit him in the hospital. Seanie was at first outraged to see her and rebuked her affection. Fanny couldn't take no for an answer, partly because she didn't want to be sued and partly because he was sort of adorable. She spent the next 3 days trying to nurse Seanie back to health. Fanny wasn't a very good nurse though. She was accidentally injuring him continuously- spilling hot coffee on him, smacking him with overly-long loaves of bread, and of course using the out-of-control bed adjuster remote instead of the TV remote. It was hilarious to everyone, but like any cheesey sitcom, Seanie was unable to see the humor in it.

Finally he yelled at her "Just leave me alone, you aren't helping!" (Seanie has a temper.) Fanny ran from the room very hurt and began to cry. Seeing that he had made her so sad, and realizing that is the last thing he would ever want to do, he followed her out the door, his hospital gown flapping in the breeze.

Catching up to her, Seanie apologized for his outburst. "I only wanted help," Fanny cried. "I realize that now," he says wiping the tears from her cheek. They kissed and fell in love. The end, for now...

Now that's what I call an update on your relationship, Seanie-boy!

This has been a complete and utter falsehood. Thank you. Now back to your regularly scheduled blog.