Thou shalt not worship false American Idols...

I was forced to watch the American Idol finale the other night by my best friends who are complete junkies. I fear for their IQ's having subjected themselves to an entire season of bad singing and cheesy performances and memorizing every detail of these performers' lives. But as someone who knows his share of random trivia and can tell you everything about the history of comic books, I won't pass judgment on them. I understand the appeal.

People like pop music. People like competition. But who knew that people liked to vote? 65 million votes were cast for the finale and while plenty were probably repeat voters, the number is still very shocking. It turns out America will vote as long as it's on television and they don't need to leave the house. This lazy democracy is frustrating considering only about 33 million people voted for the last president. But that was before American Idol.

Now this glorified talent contest has given America the voting bug. We need to gather up the American Idols and get them to do some PSA's about the importance of voting. While I know many of the Idol voters are probably 13 year old girls, those who are allowed to vote just might do so because Kelly Clarkson, or that fat guy who lost to Clay Aitken but didn't, told them to.

The evolution of the American Idol these last few years bodes well for the country in my eyes. I've read plenty of articles decrying this last season as a waste, that the votes went to America's favorite personality or cutest dreamy boy while true talented is voted off (what little talent they were able to dig up for this season). I watched the first episode of the competition (nothing else was on, even Law and Order was pre-empted for some sporting event or something) and I marveled at how extraordinarily awful all but a few seemed.

But after seeing the end result, Fantasia, the newest American Idol who won Wednesday night, might be the most deserving of idolatry. First we have Kelly Clarkson, a perfectly sweet white girl with slightly big hips, win. Next year a heavy-set African American guy takes the competition, though America has warmed up more to his big, gayish white runner-up. And this year we have a 19-year old African American single mother.

Unlike the others who got their dreams of making it big in the music biz (in a sense), she got her dream of being able to give her daughter all the things she deserves, like good schools and a decent future. That's what this contest is about now: opportunity. Fantasia is as a true a representation of America as we could have voted for, someone these kids should be idolizing. And just think of the juicy tell-all book her daughter will undoubtedly publish. Ah, democracy! How you satiate both my pride and voyeurism!