Hibernating for the weekend...

So I survived the Blizzard of '05. Oh it was a perilous experience fraught with frigid danger at every turn, such as the absence of any compelling television programming and risk from cuddling suffocation. These might not seem like the sort of problems one usually encounters in the frozen tundra, but it's about as exciting as my weekend got.

The northeast was hit with massive snowfall this past weekend and I spent the entire time holed up in my apartment cooking, reading comic books, and watching DVDs, and doing odd household projects. It was relaxing, especially the part where I stayed in my pajamas the whole time.

Like all Americans, when we got wind of a major snow storm we rushed to the supermarket and stocked up on essential food stuffs, like Diet Coke and frozen pizzas. We try to skip the bread and milk sections, as that is generally the truly psychotic people often converge and get into fisticuffs. No thank you. I can go a few days without calcium and carbs if it means I get to keep all my teeth. We also stocked up on gay cult classic movies like Harold and Maude and Sunset Boulevard. It's the only way to stay sane. (They were all out of other gay cult classics Man-tasy Island and The Best Little Whorehouse in Tex-Ass. Suffice it to say we barely survived the ordeal.)

I got around to doing a household project that I've been dreading for weeks now- affixing fabric ties to out duvet cover. Essentially you sew loose fabric to the inside corners of your duvet cover as well as to the corners of the duvet itself. Then you tie the two pieces of fabric together. This keeps your duvet from shifting inside the cover while you sleep, but allows you the flexibility to wash the cover only. In theory it's a quick solution to an annoying problem.

But I'm no Martha when it comes to sewing. So we went to her website for instruction. Martha's directions call for color-coding the fabric strips? Fuck off Martha! What, does she think I got all day?

Apparently I do! I spent 4 hours sewing these ties into place. It was grueling experience filled with shouting and needle-pricking and despair. I watched Parenthood while I worked and marveled at the sheer number of bits I didn't get at all when I watched it as a kid. My parents let me watch a movie filled with road-head and vibrators? I had no idea they were so progressive. I also had enough time in the sweatshop to catch all the behind the scenes intrigue on E! True Hollywood Story: Family Feud. It was a lot less scintillating than you might think; yet they inexplicably stretched it out over the course of 2 hours. I'll sum it up for you. Richard Dawson = Ego. Ray Combs = Depressive. Louie Anderson = Fat. Finally I finished the sewing and tied the duvet into place. The jury is still out on whether this will actually work properly but i remain hopeful. I think it would be much easier to just buy a proper comforter, but my boyfriend insists that duvets are classy and comforters are for poor people. So instead he forces his indentured servant to sew all day long from him. I might as well live in Malaysia.

Throughout the weekend I was compelled to watch the local news coverage of the storm. These guys wait all their lives to cover a blizzard. It can make or break careers. The least I could do was watch and marvel at the hysteria and blandness of the newscasters and their segments. "Oh Katy, it's still coming down here in Long Island." "That's right Steve, it's snowing here in Little Ferry as well. And an interesting development - the temperature is also rather chilly." 22 minutes of this. It seems that they'll let any random airhead with Crest White Strips on air. God, I love a blizzard.