Bush accidentally reveals new initiative to torture Americans even further...

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.''

The so-called liberal media couldn't make this stuff up. So instead they just ignore it. No, this stuff is sadder than fiction. Mr. Bush actually said this. Some might say this was a oratorical flub. Others would say it was a Freudian slip. I would agree with the latter, if I thought the President was capable of understanding how much harm his administration has done to both America and the world at large.

But regardless of how this terrible embarrassment of a President made such a mistake at a signing ceremony for the $417 billion defense spending bill, he was working toward a greater point.

``We must never stop thinking about how best to defend our country. We must always be forward-thinking,'' he said. Yes, forward thinking. If only the President was thinking ahead , oh I don't know, say, to the end of a sentence. It's easy to joke, but this man's comments reflect badly on all of us. Even godless commie fags like myself.

But damage control to the rescue! White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Bush's misstatement ``just shows even the most straightforward and plain-spoken people misspeak. But the American people know this president speaks with clarity and conviction."

Does straightforward now mean stubborn-flip-flopper? Plain-spoken now means mispronunciations? Clarity means jumbled mess? And conviction must mean lying jack-ass?